Reflections on Letting Go

Vivan, Pendragon and Morgan Le Fay snuggled

It’s so easy to fall in love. It took less than a month for me to fall in love with my foster babies.  They have been with me for over a month now, and it’s time to start thinking about saying goodbye, sending them on to Tree House where they can find their forever homes. They are spending the night at Tree House, where, tomorrow morning, they will be spayed/neutered.  They will be a step closer to leaving me! I am hoping that spending the night there will help them when they have to adjust to shelter life. But mainly, it is a way to help wean me from the kittens. To remind me they must leave me one day soon.

It will be bittersweet to see them go. It will be great to have my life back, all the time I spent playing, cleaning, feeding, and otherwise caring for these babies can now go to other efforts, such as caring for my two cats, or my ferals, or doing something *gasp* not related to cats! It is precisely because of all the effort and love I have put into these babies that it will be so hard to give them up. I know they will go to a wonderful home, Tree House is so good about screening adopters, but I am also a very anxious person and a perfectionist, so I will worry they didn’t go to a “perfect” family.

Teaming up to get the ball out of the circle!

Which is by no means a reflection of Tree House, or anyone associated with it. I think that I could give the kittens to my best friend and still not think they were being raised right!  I suppose this must be how human parents feel when they send their human children off to college or whatever. I just want the babies to have the best possible life they can. I know, deep in my heart, that means  they need to go to a family that does not have two senior cats. Where they can be the first priorities, but, that tiny little voice in my head is saying I can take care of them just fine and I know them so well already, why do they need to go somewhere else?

This is why I question my desire to one day start a shelter of my own. I won’t be able to adopt out any of the cats! No one will be good enough for me! *sigh*  But I must be content in the knowledge that I saved their lives and did a wonderful job socializing and nursing them. They are plump, healthy (minor resp issues still hanging around), loving and lovable kittens. It is almost time to let go of them, send them out into the brave new world where they will be loved and well cared for. They will be adopted by someone who will fall in love with them just as quickly as I did, and will give them the best care they can possibly get.

This is the danger of having a big, soft heart.



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