Muffin is still sick. My poor baby girl is wasting away before my eyes. She hasn’t eaten on her own since before Thanksgiving. She has in a cocktail of medicines and isn’t responding to anything. She perks up for a few days then slips backwards. I fear we are nearing the end. I have been syringe feeding her for a week now. She doesn’t get more than a few syringe fulls a day, because of my work schedule, and that is not nearly enough. She is on so many different medicines. She will perk up for a little bit when we add something new, and then she just slips back. While her body seems to be giving up, her spirit seems like it wants to fight. She still enjoys getting attention and snuggling. She is not hiding, she doesn’t seem painful (uncomfortable maybe but not painful). So it is impossible for me to make the decision on whether we should let her go.
I can’t make that decision without knowing that we have done everything we can do for her. So she is going in to have an ultrasound this afternoon. We want to make sure there are no growths or anything else that we would have missed just by touching her. I figure one way or another this will tell me what we should do. If there are options left for treating her, then I will pursue them. If there are not, then at least I know I have done everything I can for my baby girl.
Because it is just so hard for me to make a decision about letting her go, I called the animal communicator. Just to see what she has to say. She talked to Muffin who says she (Muffin) is worried about me. The communicator says that Muffin says I put up a good fight and no one would do as much for her as I have. She also said she is just so tired. Muffin is just so tired. I can see that. And I realize that it is very close to being the end for her. I also know, that it will break me to lose her. Break me. And being tired, well that doesn’t automatically have to be the end right? I know plenty of people who have been sick and been so, so tired, but who rallied and got healthy again. Hopefully the ultrasound will clear things up and make a decision easier. I can only hope there is something we can do for her. I don’t want to lose my baby girl; especially this close to Christmas. My poor, poor baby girl.
Please send prayers and healing energies her way. And send me strength to know when it is time to let her go.