Life keeps throwing me plot twists, some of which I have handled better than others. These sudden plot twists have kept me from writing, for which I am sorry.  My world has changed so much in the last few weeks- I have been having some serious battles with depression and anxiety, and my grandma died rather suddenly last week. My grandparents live on the other side of the country, so it was last minute travel.

Cat Doodle

Fuzzy George and Sneakers are adorable cartoons!

Life hasn’t been all bumps though. Last weekend was the annual comic convention in Chicago. My favorite weekend of the year. This year I got a little doodle of my boys.  I really love getting personalized art of my cats.  This particular one is done by Katie Cook. You can find more of her work on her website.  This doodle has really been the highlight of my last few weeks.

The cats have really been a huge help to me the last few weeks. They have kept me company when I was sick in bed. They cheered me up with the sheer joy they had when I came home. Thinking of them, and looking at their pictures kept me calm and distracted when I was away from home.

Sneakers and Fuzzy George 17 (5)

The photo the doodle was based on.

I realize this is a rather rambling post, with not much cat related content. I wanted to share an update and let everyone know I am alive.  Please bare with me as I struggle to get back to my routine and get my writing mojo back.


Selfie Sunday: Sneakers

Sneakers has been particularly snugly lately. Which is odd, because the weather is getting warmer, and he is fond of snuggles when the weather gets cold. My only thought is that he must be looking for company. It has been me and the cats for a few weeks now. And sadly I have been working long hours, which means the cats have beeen alone more than they are used to.  Woke up the other day to find this face in mine. It was a great way to wake up. I love these boys. 

I love them so much, and I love their attention.  It’s beeen rough though. They are due for their Revolution treatment (flea/tick/heart worm prevention) but whenever I give it to them, Sneakers hides for the rest of the day. It is hard to break his heart and face his looking at me in terror for the rest of the day, even when I know it is the best thing for them. It is amazing what those sad eyes can do to your heart. And lets not mention the diet Fuzzy George has to go on. I mean I have been trying to watch his food intake, but somehow he still is getting pudgy. Err. Pudgier. So time to get even more serious about food intake. I will have to do my research on calorie count for wet food, then do math to figure out how many calories in part of a can, then average that out with how much dry food they are getting. I am not looking forward to this. Which is probably why I have put off the dry food part for so long.  I need to do what is best for them, even though it is hard. Even though they will dislike it. Sometimes we have to do hard things for our cats. We have to make hard decisions and do things they dislike-like giving medication, taking them to the vet and putting them on diets. It will be better for them in the long run. Even if it means we have to give up a few snuggles in the short term. 

Cats are Good for the Soul

I have been going through some heavy stuff the last few weeks. The seemingly endless doctor appointments have kept me running and kept me from my cats. It feels like all I do is work and see doctors lately. (This is a slight exaggeration in fact, but not in feeling).  My cats have been the calming presence. They are what gets me out of bed on the mornings when I just don’t feel like getting out of bed. I have written in the past about how my cats have helped me cope with Depression and Anxiety in Cats Help Improve Mental Health.  That was stories of Crash, Sam and Muffin. They saved me from myself at some hard times. Thankfully Sneakers and Fuzzy George have filled the cat vacancies. I don’t know where I would be without them. 

Fuzzy George and Sneakers have kept me grounded in the here and now. When my mind races ahead of itself, or focuses on things it shouldn’t be focusing on, the cats remind me there are things to tend to here. Mostly that they wanted to be fed five minutes ago, thank you very much. Even though they can add to the stress- Waking up to cats wrestling on the bed in the middle of the night is getting real old- they give so much more!

Cats are entertainment. When I come home after a very, very long day and want nothing more than to escape into mindless entertainment, Sneakers runs around like a goof demanding my attention. Fuzzy George causes mayhem and destruction if he gets bored, which is always a good reminder that I am neglecting him. Even my ferals look in the window to see what I am doing. Their constant need for undivided attention can seem annoying, but it is really a reminder to be present. To forget about social media, online shopping, reading the news or playing games on my phone. It is a reminder that my health issues will be addressed, but I cannot let them take over my life. There are important things here and now that need attending to. 

Fuzzy George and Sneakers have also been a check point for me. I knew that I was stressed, anxious and overwhelmed. I didn’t realize how bad I was though, until the day I found myself getting annoyed at the cats for doing very basic cat things. Sneakers was begging for food and I told him to go away.  Fuzzy George got into mischief because he was bored, I yelled at him for being so naughty. They both excitedly greeted me when I got home. I had a bag full of groceries and a fully bladder, so I told them to get out from under my feet (in a much less loving way.).  Once I realized that I was letting my emotions and stress control my actions, I was so ashamed. I pulled back. I took some deep breaths and have really been focusing on self-care. I apologized to them, and being cats they simply asked me for more food.  

When I have been down, they have soothed me. Sneakers sleeps on me at night, frequently soothing me to sleep with the rhythm of his purring.  They are right there when I go to bed, piling themselves on me so they are both touching me. It is so comforting. Looking at them both snuggled on the bed, content and at peace with the world is so good for my soul. They remind me that I am loved, always; I am not alone. I have to keep fighting my fight and making myself healthy for so many reasons. I strive to be the person my cats think I am, even when I am yelling at them.